Here's the Trash from the May 23rd Running of the Erblil Hash House
Harriers - next run scheduled for June, 6. He attached two pictures -
but I can't seem to figure out how to put them here (nothing to do
with 5 days of drinking and that is 2:30 AM) Wanks with Wolves
May 23, 2003
Erbil Hash House Harriers
Hashing and Beer in Iraq….Freedom!
The Erbil Hash House Harriers held their inaugural run today, in the
shadow of the Khanzad Hotel—headquarters of ORHA North. It was a
blistering hot day and one wondered as the stream of virgin Hashers
came down the hill whether they would find the spirit to shout On
On! Things weren't looking good when Hash Cash (aka Mighty Atom)
hadn't remembered the clip board to take names. Luckily Hash Flash
brought the camera. After what seemed an interminable wait, GM Boy
Toy came forward and began the basic instructions. There seemed to
be lot about beer and fucking which left our virgins slightly
confused. Hash markings were explained, a few practice On! Ons!
Shouted Our Hare, Dirty, Harry took off.
GM with help from Hashmanian Devil led us in a rousing chorus of
Father Abraham. Well, it wasn't rousing but it should have been.
Some hashers were already looking for beer. Some were wondering
about the fucking. Some were just lost. Never mind. The Erbil Hash
was like every other Hash. A bunch of wankers standing around
waiting to drink beer. Oh yes, there is the running bit. Of course
GM gave us strict instructions that of course this was not a r@#$
(can't say the word). There were a few slips of the tongue (which
were suitably punished during down downs.)
But the scribe—who had her share of beer today—digresses. So after a
chorus (debatable whether it was rousing or not) of Father Abraham we
were off after the Hare. It is worth noting that in the Erbil Hash,
the trail was marked with flour. Not to get into any kind of
political discussion (it is well known that the Hash scribe is a
bloody liberal) but some Hashes have been known to use chad to mark
their trails. Of course this was before the election of W. That was
when chad wasn't a dirty word.
Sorry. Another digression.
So we followed a trail marked by flour that took us up and down and
through lots of sticky patches. We climbed up the faux water fall
(no water in it) and even crawled under a chain link fence. The
denizens of ORHA—who made up the majority of the Hashers—marveled at
the view outside world. We felt daring and brave as if we were
sneaking out of the premises---even without the requisite two
vehicles and two shooters. Ahh freedom.
Ahh disillusion. The shooters were all around us and one hasher even
attempted to determine the trail by asking the poor sod. That should
have been punished by a down down. Who was that miscreant?
We soon found our way to a lovely shalalat (that's Arabic for a
waterfall) and oh what bliss. Beer! It was a beautiful sight—the
beer that is, but the waterfall was quite lovely too.
Beer and hashing. Freedom. We continued down, and then across flat
area that led alongside a soapy river where locals stared
incredulously at us. The women beat the clothes on the rocks. The
children shouted. We followed the markings. Checking one, two,
three. And an on, on and before we knew it, we could smell the
beer. We arrived. It wasn't a long hash but that's what it's like
the first time. Quick and over before you know what happened to
Boy Toy – GM
Mighty Atom – Hash Cash/Scribe
Dirty, Harry - Hare
The rest of the Hounds:
Charlie Lukban – Hash Flash
Rachel Voss (Mine Blower)
A Hasher is Named A Star is Born
Although Rachel Voss had not yet completed ten runs GM decided that a
christening was in order. Can't tell if he just wanted to admire her
sunburned tummy (which she made certain we all saw as she tucked up
her Army t-shirt) Nevertheless, our Hasher was called into the
center to tell her tale—and hopefully inspire an appropriate name.
She left and we came up with some good ones: Mine My Belly, Mine
Layer, Mag Hag, Muff Diver, Mine Sweeper, Mine Diver, Noisy Bitch and
Fire Starter. The winning selection: Mine Blower. And so Mine
Blower it was! Loud songs sung to celebrate Erbil's first
Can't remember who all the miscreant were but there was a lot of
singing and a lot of beer General Moore participated nobly. Our
Chief of Staff did too—after he got assurances that Stars and Stripes
reporters present in our midst understood that this event was ON DEEP
BACKGROUND. Actually it didn't matter because they got so fucking
drunk they probably couldn't remember anything anyway! He got into
the spirit of things and seemed to get more than his fair share of
down, downs—but he probably deserved every one of them. Our Silver
Fox proved to us that the aged do fall more often—he looked like
walking wounded after the run—but that doesn't impede one's ability
to drink like a real Hasher. High points for our both our Treasuring
reps—let's hope they can get those salaries paid as quickly as they
quaff beerl Honoring the British roots of the HHH story, we called
on our UK rep for a good down down. She almost forgot to take off
her hat but she did prove that even Foreign Office staff know how to
appreciate honorable traditions. Bravo.