One thing that I think I should mention is the fact
that Twattie, for all of his ramble about the little
man, and how fairness in business should always be
practiced (read: talking out of my ass) decided that
he would go corporate two weeks ago in Tex Mex.
Now, I can't blame him, because what he did was pretty
He not only brought word of the great Manny's pale ale
to texas hashers, but made quite an impression about
his loyalty to it. Yes, twattie and I were talking in
seattle, and I caught a glimpse of his ungodly and
poorly knitted sweater that he wears "ALL THE TIME"
AND asked if I could make it a logo. he said yes.
so come tex-mex intercourse hash, the clippers came
out, and twattie aloud me to place an M on his chest
in honor of Manny's beer. The texas hashers CAN
appreciate good beer, and we always have the Austin
hashers there to remind us of better quality beer when
at all possible.
You guys can ask him what else he had shaved and by
whom, and what they shaved and on what part of his
body...all I can say is that Assquatch should be glad
that he wasn't there, or we would have gotten him
drunk enough to consent to anything.
photos are as follows:
1. Twattie talking of the pride and joy of the Seattle
H3 hash.....Manny's Pale Ale. great shit by the way.
2. Myself and Cosmo at pimp and ho night. who's the
pimp and who's the ho...don't ask.
3. Pimp night. one of many photos.
4. Hot tub...self explanatory.
As many of you may well know, a few of your
seattle/tacoma area hashers made a trek to the south,
and the great city of Hell Paso for the Tex-Mex V
Intercourse Hash 2 weekends ago.
It was not without incident:
I first must say, that it was a joy to instigate a few
visitors to Texas from the state of Washington.
The first was Cosmo...I would say many good things
about Cosmo, but all he did was play with his nuts,
and threaten to ass bang anyone that got out of the
hot tub to early (30+ people hot tub), until he passed
out next to it. well, maybe it didn't happen this
way, but I thought it did. Cosmo was his regular
self, and made many new friends in Texas with his
antics, and constant screaming about how the Pitt.
Steelers were "GOING...ALL....THE...WAY!" as well, as
meeting about 7 other Pitt. fans. Cosmo wasn't his
same old running around like a lunatic hash runner, on
the asshole trail, as he helped a couple of damsels in
distress down the treacherous, and slippery, rocky
washes, and canyons along the slower trail. A Scholar
and a Gentleman. I'll leave more stories to him, as I
saw a lot of him that I didn't want to see.....again!
He was the pimp at the Pimp and Ho ball that night,
Next Hasher: Rip Torn, got a different introduction
as he participated in the Knuckledragger H3 Motorcycle
Club ride/adventure to El Paso. Riding his Suzuki
Hayabusa crotch rocket from the San Diego area to
Texas and back. already planning new trips in the
future I'm sure. And also meeting some of Arizona
states' finest while doing, oh, I don't know,
Cop: "I don't know how fast you were going, because I
was doing 110mph, and you were pulling away from me,
as if I were stopped"
Rip: Uh, really? I was just going with traffick...he
Hello court date, and possibly the name for his
motorcycle in the hash.
We left seattle on Tuesday morning, after loading the
bikes up, at 0105 am with temps hovering around 30
degrees. fuck it. there is a party to get to. drove
straight thru, unloaded the bikes in oceanside, ca.
and rode to tucson, az. to hash on wednesday night,
drink our asses off. hungovere the next day, rode to
Sierra Vista, Az. picked up 2 more hashers, and rode
thru southern Az. and then southern New Mexico,
stopped in a sleepy mexican town for beers and lunch
(real mexican food) and the fact that I've been away
from the south for too long, is that the regular salsa
that they put on the table, was fucking hot. not your
regular pace, and mildly spicy shit they serve
everywhere else. it was heaven.
we made it into El Paso on Thursday night, and began
to drink heavily from the nearly 26 half barrel kegs
that were emptied over the weekend, by approx. 118
hashers that actually showed up. Nice!
Many photos and stories, you'll have to ask him about
The 3rd hasher was Twatnot.com Now, I've known Twat
for a few years now, since my first Seattle/Tacoma
area hash in 2001 at the Tacoma Red Dress Run, hared
by Magot and someone else (don't want to bring
anything up) It was a cold, bitter intro. to the Pac.
NW. hashing, ending at a Gay bar in Tacoma, in my
pregnant mini skirt dress, pissing in the same stalls
that the lesbians were pissing in (standing up) also,
bringing a better known virgin to the hash that
I think Twat was having a rough week recently, and
when he though of canceling, I thought I would
mention, that a weekend like this is just what the
doctor ordered, to refocus, let off some stress, and
make some new hasher friends. It was either that, or
a bit of Dr. Fockers wild root oil for what ails you.
thanks chemo. What could possibly go wrong?
The first phone call I received, to know that Twattie
was going to Tex-Mex, was received while somewhere in
Arizona, and Twat is calling me from Dallas, Texas
airport, and says he can't remember what the hotel
name in Hell Paso is, and that he forgot all of the
info. to get there on his table at home. Dumbass! A
quick phone call back, and I think he figured it out,
since he was there.
While Twat seemed a bit undecided about going, I think
that there is no doubt in his mind, where he would
like to be for Jan. 2006.. and that is at Tex-Mex Sex.
Twattie took to the Texas hashers, like a crack whore
takes to free crack. Enjoying all of the booze, beer,
and nudity, and debauchery afforded by a hotel, that
charged 20.00 bucks a night per room, and whom is the
most tolerant of hashers that I have ever seen. Ex.
Cops showed up the first night (thursday) and walked
up to the hot tub. nudity and beer and loud people
everywhere, remember it's a 30+ hot tub. First
comment out of them, was that "we know you guys are
welcome here" "we just wanted to let you know that
someone is complaining about your noise" a tenant,
called 911 directly because after talking to
management, she was told, that they would not make us
shut up, quiet down, or go to bed. The cops were
informed of this, and said a friendly goodbye, with
the longing looks of someone, that wants to shed their
restrictive "the man" uniform and jump into the hot
tub, and sit next to Cosmo, the human dick swinger and
Twattie joined us for breakfast at some badass mexican
joint, with authentic mexican food, and "real"
salsa...."HOT" salsa...goddam! and held his own, with
a predominantly more republican side of the table
countering any pseudo, homo, pc comment that he had to
dish out. he finally just ate his food, and we all
went and drank more beer.
The rest of the weekend, was enjoyed with the Pimp and
Ho theme night on Friday, as we spent all morning at
the Good Will store shopping for great pimp and ho
The pub crawl took us to several bars where riots were
incited (not really) but plenty of beer was drunk as
well as informing the locals that we were pimps and
proud of it.
saturday morning, over to Kings X for breakfast and
some hangover remedies. Today we hash in
Whorez/Juarez. WE all got a ride to the start, a few
blocks from the border, with about 90 or so hashers
walking across to mexico, and hashing with arrows
written in on the street. walking into bars with the
hares saying "I'll take 2 hundred cervezas, please"
and then watching the little mexican guys scramble to
open as many bottled beers as they could, as hashers
stood by thirsty with hands outstretched. It was
freaking awesome. some mexican strip bars, and then
some cool sports bars, where all of the Pitts.
Steelers fans hung out when they put the game on the
Sat. T.V. for them. cheap and good food as well.
Everyone made it back in time for the ride to the
hotel, except a few hashers that went and got steak
and lobster ata nice restaurant (being that El Paso is
the largest border city seperated by a mere river,
over 2million people on either side) they have most
anything you want.
Saturday night was heralded by the "She's the boss"
dominatrix party, with plenty of leather, and dog
collars, whips, chains, handcuffs and "yes, maam's"
and "more please." saw way to many submissive faces
from these guys and would have been happy not to.
sunday the asshole from el paso trail. a 13 plus mile
long trail for those that want to run, ending at the
base of a very religious mountain, apparently, where
we were greeted by a few local marshalls, yes, as in
wyatt earp, wearing there six shooters strapped to
their legs. they were friends of hashers and there to
provide some security for the 2 mile trek up the mtn.
which has warnings about banditos. yes, they exist.
as the border is within easy running distance, they
rob people and then run across the border. the
marshalls brought their own beer supply and had a
blast. they were very cool. until the local padre
came over and harassed us saying we were heathens and
blasphemers for hanging out on this sacred mtn.
drinking and laughing. fuck him. uptight ass. I
wish twattie would have engaged him in conversation.
back to the hotel for religion, and we caught a ride,
where others had to ride in the cattle truck (uhaul
truck holding about 40 hashers at a time)
religion was great, as many accusations were made, and
a lot more drinking was done, with the hare Buttpirate
of Houston, Tx. presiding. REcognition was given to
Massive Slut Slinger for his Keg on a bike idea. Rode
from Austin, Tx. with his own mini keg strapped to his
bike, with 10ft hose. we let that beer settle for two
days and then floated the keg. Hash shit went to
B.A.T.T. from Colorado Springs, Co. for her Tsunami
orgasm that left her bed soaking wet. (she fucked
with the knuckledraggers bikes, so they swiped the
room key from her roommates lanyard, without her
knowing, back to hotel, and took all the sheets off
the bed, dunked them in the tub, and made the bed as
if nothing had happened. a few toothbrushes found
their way into a few asses, and many photos were
more drinking and hot tub action.
at first she blamed another hashers for possibly
pissing on her bed. then blamed the maids saying, they
washed her sheets, and forgot to dry them. and YES,
she was drunk, ALL weekend.
lesson to learn here: DON'T fuck with the
KNUCKLEDRAGGERS bikes, because they may, or may not
get you back, it might happen today or tomorrow, but
we will get you back. too many hash pranksters in the
motorcycle group. too much fun.
monday came to early, as we all wished for more time
to see and do...our friends..hahaha.
I encourage as many of you all to come out to the next
Tex-Mex Sex in El Paso, Texas in January of 2006. It
is a hell of a party that they organize.
Another party that is great that is coming up is TEXAS
INTERHASH 2005, and just so you all know, the fee for
ALL OUT OF STATE HASHERS WILL REMAIN AT 50.00 BUCKS.
No changes, surprises or increases. Texas wants to
welcome you to our local gathering in April. April
29,30 and May 1st.
Also Austin, Tx. will be holding their 20 year
anniversary in June of 2005. Don't know the exact
dates, but go to www.ah3.com
Hope to see a bunch of you there.
The following photos show the start.
1. Gummee, Rip Torn and Gaylord east of San Diego in
2. us waiting for Rip torn as he is being written in
3. Sluts Keg on the bike, arriving at El Paso.
4. Visitors drinking at the Mr. Happy's Larrikins hash
in Tucson, Az.
more photos in the next email.....
Cosmo, I will make a cd, so send me an address, and
I'll send you a copy.