Date: March 25, '06
Hares: A$$ma and Spike
Hounds: Family Jewels, PortAJohn, Where's, Cpt. Crash, Whore
O Cock, Knees Wide Open, Swollen Gapin Festering Hole, Just Cassie, Just Adam,
Just Steve, Fish, Daffy Dildo, Ullage, F*in Crazy, Sweetheart, Tic Tac Ho,
Piss Boy, Slippery Fingers, Numb Nuts, Twat Not, Safe Sex
This was another run starting from A$$ma's home (not that I'm complaining
since he has a hot tub) on the west side of Lake Sammammish. Now I can't
really tell you much about the trail since I showed up late and made the
perfectly understandable decision to sit in the hot tub drinking Mannys and
making out with Safe Sex instead of doing the trail. Iron Lady took pictures
which will be available on my website for a nominal monthly subscription. Very
tasteful, not trashy at all but they still deliver the goods and I think
they're well worth the subscpriction.
What I did hear about the trail was that it started up the creek bed beside
his house up the hillside through the woods. I remember Slippery recounting
how she came upon Knees (pagan whore slut) in the woods walking in a circle
staring at the ground because she was trying to pick up trail again. Must be
the syphilis rotting her brain. I would have thought the other STD's would
have ganged up on the syphilis and beat it into submission by now.
I don't remember much else about what supposedly happened on trail from the
chaotic and mismanaged circle but one of the low points was when two of the
officers, Port-a-John and Whore-a-Clock were charged and started bitching and
whining about why they shouldn't drink. As much as you all give me shit for
having a sandy vag on occasion (and yes, it's true), the little sh*t fit and
bitch fest they put on was pretty pathetic. They absolutely refused to drink
their down-downs. I've got no problem making an attempt to challenge a charge
that's been made against you, that's in the spirit of the hash but if the
whole pack remains convinced that you should drink then just admit that you
suck and drink your f*cking beer. Ok?
Christ.
Anyway, Safe and I were called into the circle and rewarded for having the
wisdom to skip the trail and drink beer while soaking in the hot tub.
Interestingly, neither at this point nor at any other point in the circle did
anyone notice that I was wearing a Seattle M******* shirt. Or maybe they just
didn't give a crap.
Ullage explained how he got his name but I was too distracted and didn't quite
catch all the details so I don't really get it. I think I heard something
about the dregs at the bottom of a keg. He and his boyfriend Daffy Dildo were
wearing matching outfits but didn't get called on it until the next day at
Rain City where they wore the same f*cking clothes again. Apparently
englishmen not only have bad teeth, they also don't understand the concept of
traveling with a change of clothes.
That's what I remember and I'm sticking to it...