It was even less "virgin" than STICKY BUNS after the USS Kitty Hawk

Hey now, I didnt even go out that weekend!  Was home being a GOOD mom even!

I went to the Puget Sound H3 Renegade Run this weekend and the trail that
promised to be "brutal" turned out to be pretty decent!  We started in a
Lowe's Parking lot in a ritzy suburb of Seattle that didnt look too
promising.  I had gotten a call from a local Hasher in my town of Puyallup -
"GROPER" asking if I wanted to ride up with him.  My mom had seen an email
on the WH3 list that said he got his name for a reason, so beware even
though he looked like a white haired GENTLEMAN and would NOT let me get in
his car.  I had spoken with him, and found out he had grandkids, but my mom
said so did the Green River Killer so I wasnt even letting him near my home.
  I met him in a Fred Meyer parking lot and followed him 45 min away to the
start.  Anyway I get there and meet the few women and many older men ready
to hash.  Their hash marks are VERY different and I was a bit confused as
always, so I got yelled at for not calling ON ON when I saw an ON ARROW by
some short weird Navy guy stationed in Everett.  After the hares took off,
we got 12 min to sing "Father Abraham" and look like SPAZZ in the parking
lot of Lowe's.  My shoes were "blessed" with sacred necter, supposedly to
help me find the beer. LOL like I need help with THAT.  (lush that I am)

So we start off running down pavement (yes I was RUNNING, bad knee and all)
and ended up in some lush park in Issaquah.  But then we ran thru woods and
hit an ON BACK (which looks like OUR check) and came upon MR. ROGERS taking
a piss thinking he was behind everyone.  We ended up at a jello shot stop
and then crossed a river.  One Hasher had his child in a backpack carrier
and was a FRB until he clotheslined his daughter with a treebranch and he
had to wait for his wife to come kiss her to make it better.  We ran thru
Federally Protected Wetlands, with spots that sunk to our knees.  Which
wouldnt be so bad if the water wasnt ICE COLD.  Another transfering hasher,
KEEPS ON CUMMIN' from Juno, Alaska did a belly flop into the marsh.  I got
teased for my squeals, but I never quit, for which I was told I had HONOR. 
We ran thru a state park and hit a beer stop and then into an ice cold creek
for a while where I promptly popped my kneecap out of place and yelled FUCK
at the top of my lungs.  I got it back in place before heading up a cliff
line where I ended up with prickly thorns all in my back and in my ankles
and in my hands and wrists.  (NO I was NOT on my back, we were climbing
UNDER prickly bushes)

After that we were on road for another 3-4 miles thru a neighborhood that
had a sign boasting that houses started as low as A MILLION THREE!!!!  We
finished at GOLDILOXX's apartment complex and had our Religion (or CIRCLE as
they call it) in the clubhouse.  I got called out for talking about GEAR,
because you DONT say the "R" word at a hash apparently, and they pointed
with their elbows a lot and accusations were made while holding a bottle of
IceHouse or whatever on your head.  As you all know, I talk a LOT and got
called out for "PRIVATE PARTY" when I was chatting with some guy. But then I
was able to call out a married couple with her hands having a PRIVATE PARTY
in his PANTS.

The Apartment Managers kicked us out even though we werent done grilling on
the gas grill outside so we got our stuff out of the clubhouse and they
turned off the gas.  Good ole Hashers to the rescue, lets throw some
CHARCOAL on it instead.  This brought the local police out to kick us out. 
But not before I ate my steak.  Spent some time sobering up, chatting in the
parking lot before heading the 45 min back home.  No ON ON ON for this hash!

All in All though, it was a pretty decent Hash and I cant wait to get to
On On
Sticky Buns

Startin' FRESH in WA