SH3 run 493

Hashing with a twist.

A twisted hash you say?  We were given a map and time limit.  We were told to visit as many of the locations identified on the map as we could (or at least as many as we wanted to).  The beer stop would only be open from 4:00pm to 4:20pm -- get there too early or too late and no beer; too bad for you.  We had to finish at 5:00pm.  Those without a watch, try using a sundial on the sunless day!  At each location we had to find a “prize” (a plastic bag with very small pieces of paper in them, each having numbers from 1-6).  Oh yeah, the run theme was “CHUTES & LADDERS”.

Basically, the hares gave the following run instructions - get thyself a map, follow the map and collect game pieces.  Remember the beer stop time and the finish time.  We will play a “game” at the end.  ON-ON!

So, off we went.  Piss Boy figured he would follow along with LMD, fresh back from Iraq.  Guy ought to be able to read a map.  Good thought, bad execution as they say since LMD kept asking if anyone had a map!  (Both were drinkable offenses).  In that the map had points of interest in all directions, the hounds went in all directions.  A small pack of about 6 went south, a few west and most north.  I headed south after finishing my pre-run beer and soon became part of the “south” pack of hounds:  Piss Boy, LMD, Ugly American, Twaty, Fresh & Stinky and Where’s.  At one point we came across two hounds (NFPs Just Jim and Just Andrew) running at us.  Now usually when running on hash this is not a good thing, but today it didn’t matter.  Each pack just went their separate ways.  Our group of 6 hit a decision point.  At the southern point of the map - in Seward Park - was a slide and a “Reward”.  However, the beer light was about to be lit at the beer stop so 5 of us figured we had better turn north for the beer, only being slowed down when we observed LMD skinny dipping in the lake.  Ugly American sacrificed himself and went south.  When we met back up at the beer stop, Ugly American had found the reward but didn’t find the numbers tapped to the slide (“I couldn’t find the bag in the bushes”), and also found Bag ‘O Porn. 

As the beer clock was approaching 4:20, Numb Nuts and JALP arrived from the north with tales of not making it to the northern “reward”.  Just as time was about to expire, Head Nurse comes sprinting in all out of breath.  He had out-raced (?) the bimbo NFP (Trea) who “was really fast!”.

From the beer stop, hounds left in direction basically opposite from which they had come in.  Each had the goal of scoring a few more prizes before the 5:00pm time limit.  Our group headed back towards the car / finish area and saw PPP and Sue just getting back to the cars.  Two prizes later and we returned to the cars ourselves where we found FC in his van reading a newspaper.  In that he got there late he thought the maps were for shortcutters and just was not able to find any trail! 

The 5:00pm finish was in a little gazebo and the hares had great homebrew for us.  They also had “game boards” so we could play Chutes and Ladders!  Many hounds put on their best dumb look and asked how does one play Chutes and Ladders.  Well, the rules go something like this:

"chutes and ladders instructions" -  You spin the dial until it lands on a number (in our case, play a “prize). You move that number of spaces. If you land on a ladder square you go up the ladder. If you land on a chute square you go down the chute. You try to make it through all of the pitfalls to get to the winning (last) square. You may only land on the winning square if you spin the exact number. i.e. if you are 4 spaces from the end you cannot proceed if you spin a 5 or a 6. Good luck.  {According to one website -- Really simple.  I mean the only game that I can think of that is easier than "Chutes and Ladders" is "Go Fish."}

KY boasted that probably nobody would finish - wrong again as 4-5 hounds hit spot 100!  These hounds ultimately played another game (rock - paper - scissors) to determine the final winners.

Lots of down-downs were given, of course the hares, the hounds that went to the nothern and southern “rewards”, the visitors and NFP, and even two birthday spankings.  In that our spanker was not in attendance, BNH volunteered her hand.  FC was first (50+), and then Piss Boy - standing in for Slippery Fingers (29 or so they said!).

The ON-ON was at Alfies Tavern just a few blocks away.  They had no food so hounds ordered pizza delivered in, went to Jones BBQ, across the street for Asian, or scarfed up the free nuts that the bar gave us. 

A few of us stayed way too late attempting deep conversations.  We always seem to think we can solve the world!

As stated, a new twist on a hash run but the 25 or so hounds seemed to have a great time.