Pardon any typos or stupidness. It's 1:15am, I'm not quite drunk yet but am working on it.
Wanks, email me as we have a commitment for 4/2.
BnH, Where's, info provided you might need. BnH should have the complete list of those at the hash.
BOT, you're HOT!


TH3 Hash Trash Run #48?
Erections 2005
As the outgoing On-Sec it brings me no pleasure to write the 2nd Trash of my tenure. My 1st Trash re-hashed the 2004 TH3 Erection Run. At least I'm consistent.

Our outgoing JGM's Cosmo and the non-present Knees Wide Open performed all year like crap. Cosmo went out in style with the most f*#ked up trail in the past year (more on that in a moment). Knees went out in style by absenteeism. Rumor has it she had a Tea Party or some other girly (lesbian sex) event more important than fulfilling the final obligation of her office. Perhaps she knew what was to transpire. Cosmo!!!

We met at Sportco in Milton/Fife, a mostly industrial and business area contained by the Puyallup River and I-5. Cosmo's short attention span was obvious as he repeatedly forgot to lay hash in between check points. Knees was not there. It took the pack almost 30 minutes to conquer about ¾ of a mile despite the lack of hash.

Once we did find trail it led across railroad (RR) tracks and underneath trains. Normally a quaint idea, but on this day the tracks were extremely jubilant with a sh*tload of train activity. A few adventerous hounds crawled underneath RR cars and were abruptly greeted by some very friendly locals; RR cops.

From this point there are more variations of how, why, when, and where Cosmo f*cked up the trail then the number of hounds present. Several hounds did find one of three promised beer checks and shared all gawdamm 4 beers left by the lone outgoing JGM piece of crap. Did I mention Knees wasn't there? It should be noted the beer check was discovered from the outgoing trail, as was a YBF.

From this point and well over an hour into Cosmo's hash-armegeddon, the pack split. Most went back to the cars and drove to the On-In while a few of us fools still possessed an ounce of patience and/or curiosity. We found one of Cosmo's whichy-ways (resembles a Y). I have a question. If the "V" of the whichy-way does not represent a possible trail direction why not just place a check at that point? Nevermind. Cosmo!

Cosmo's whichy-ways finally broke my spirit (I sobered up) and after running a mile or so I entered a gas station to get directions to the Firwood Tavern (pissup location). One look at my Hash Naked tank top and throbbing member (oops, different post) the middle-aged beotch with the 60's hairdoo quickly pointed and said ½ mile up that road. A mile and ½ later (up that road & really sober) I came upon a virgin, Max (he's lost and disgusted too), another virgin Rica, and her beau FarFromNookie. After declining a ride from Bag O Porn we all ran the final mile to the tavern. At the On-In we are missing 4 hounds and the hare, close to 3 hours into the run. We really didn't give a sh*t about them by now and started the circle.

All was going well until Cosmo showed up b*tching about the lack of marks on trail. We reminded him he was the hare…? The hare lays trail…? We gave up. Soon after, the four most patient morons in the world showed up; Wanks, Pissin'Hole, Keyless Entry and jus Mike. It was dark, getting cold and the beer was running low, so we headed across the parking lot to the bar for erections, warmth, and beer.
There is really more to tell from the run but I need to get to the erections and I'm already on page two. Bare with me.

I will try and name the hashers who came in for the erections: Lady 2Fingers, magot, FFN (see above somewhere), FC, Safe Sex, Rica, Twat, PnH, BnH, Spike, LMD, BOP, Cosmo and the English guy (sorry dude, can't recall your name). Those at the run that didn't come in included: Groper, Bunny Phu Phu, Keyless Entry, Mike and Max.

If you were there and I didn't mention your name sorry, next time do something memorable like Rica did by kissing PnH on the nose. Two girls kissing, hmmmmmmm.

I won't waste your time on the intricacies of the erections but want to mention that FC and Safe Sex were drunk from the Puget Sound run that morning and pretty much just screamed during every vote. Safe should be commended for waking up long enough to grunt his ballots. Consequently, they were not taken very seriously. Actually, they were ignored. I should also mention deals were made in dark places after the observed erections so if you were there and something seems amiss, shut your trap or you'll be killed.

Without further ado, here are the 2005 TH3 Officers, poor b*stards;

JGMs:-----------------magot
                           Wanks with Wolves
RA-----------------------LMD
Beer Beotch---------Wanks with Wolves (yep, power trip here)
Hash Cash-----------Where's
On-Sec---------------2Fingers
Hare Raiser----------Crash
Hash Flash-----------Tw*t

Hope I didn't forget something.

Next run is Sat, March 19th. BnH's Easter Egg Extravaganza. More deets to come.

The JGM run is slated for April 2 you fools. This would be a good time for you Seattlelites (or whatever you're called) to venture from your paved paradise where the inclimate weather is filling your cardiovascular systems with carcinogens and enjoy a well-laid hash void of smog and pavement. Pencil it in, c'mon, open those little yuppy planners and pencil in: trails and beer with magot and Wanks. Do it.

TH3 On-Sec, magot is out