Seattle HHH Run # 405
Monday, June 11, 2001
It was a balmy June evening somewhere in the country, but not at the Seattle HHH Run #405, hosted by our beloved Hare Raiser, Tree Trunks. Tree Trunks, having an affinity for road apples, once again selected the Bridle Trails State Park as his hash start. The rain could not deter the dedicated hashers, Bitch N Hoe, 100DB, Captain Crash, Where’s, Lookin’ Good, Safe Sex, Iron Lady, Thumper, Deck Dick, Mr. Rogers, DJO, BOT, Just a Little Prick, BonBon, Loan Shark, Spike, Piss Boy, and Virgin Tongue.
We feared the worst when the hare handed out maps of the area and apologized to Just a Little Prick with Bon Bon in tow, for advertising that the trail was stroller able. The maps immediately disintegrated under the dibble, dibble, dibble, dop of the less than pleasant downpour and we were left to our own hash senses. With a whistle and an ON-ON the pack was off into a navigational black hole of Pacific Northwest shiggy.
DJO was off like a rocket, with the inevitable arrival of his offspring, he fears that each hash may be his last. Tree Trunks, Thumper and Safe Sex sent their spouses, Lookin’ Good, Virgin Tongue and Iron Lady, walking in one direction while they headed in the other. Coincidence? The walkers were never seen again, except for Bitch N Hoe, who knows better than to take directions from a hasher.
The pack tromped through horse puck, black mud, thick forest, brown mud, giant hasher-eating puddles, green mud, blackberry vines and more mud until a (laminated) map was discovered posted on a tree. It read, “Go south until you can’t go anymore and then go east.” Which way is south? Which way is east? The hounds wandered up and down and around and around and around and around. A second map was discovered somewhere along the trail, it read, “Go northwest until you find beer.” Which way is north? Which way is west? Which way is beer? The hounds wandered up and down and around and around and around and around. Eventually, all reached the beer check at one time or another to be greeted by the hare who claimed, “The park is only 1.5 SQUARE miles!”
The ON-IN was near. The pack coagulated under a couple of umbrellas and a friendly sheltering tree. Down-downs were handed out to most everyone in the circle for one reason or another. We kept an eye out for the AWOL walkers and surmised that they may have headed straight for the piss-up. With that the circle was closed and we were off to a nearby pizza joint. There we discovered Twatty with his best friend, a pint of northwest swill, but NO WALKERS! We ate and drank in honor of our missing friends.
Legend has it that on rainy summer evenings, a faint, high-pitched “Are You” can still be heard echoing through the winding trails of Bridle Trails State Park…..