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 Seattle Hash House Harriers

Run #: 425

This weekend the Seattle H3 celebrated the rites of spring in hash-appropriate style with condom-filled eggs, beer and tales from the upcoming bestseller “Tits and Clits.” Our festivities began with some M&M’s and Schnapps, chalk talk ala Bitch n’ Hoe and some fidgety hounds looking for a few eggs and  beer…mostly beer. New on the scene, and thanks to Just Karen who has been making quite a few people cum, were Jon from Vashon Island and David from DC. Also new but not new to the hash was Blood on Rail who is “hopeful” and most recently from Riyadh where, one assumes, he was also hopeful…

Okay, okay, so you have a bunch of hashers festooned in all sorts of puffy pink, white and yellow things, rasta bonnets and Playboy polyester jackets running around the hood with one thing on their minds: BEER. What happens along the way? Skylarking? Perhaps… Well, Piss Boy, who apparently can’t find an egg to save his life, went on an egg-theft spree that met an unfortunate end when he chose to target Twat…a scuffle ensued and ended with Piss Boy flat on the ground. Further down the road, Just Karen regaled her fellow hashers with a tales of hi-speed racing and peeing that would later earn her a down-down. PIMP got tossed around in the Honey Bucket by Piss Boy who still couldn’t find his own eggs and Vashon Jon dumped his rasta bonnet in the trash (boo). Hounds flummoxed on trail by the clever Bitch n’ Hoe placement of an “X” behind a construction sign.

Next comes the jelly bean toss at the beer check. After Bitch n’ Hoe establishes only ONE RULE, that the jelly bean is tossed from person to person, she disqualifies Slippery Fingers and Piss Boy for adding a protective shield made of plastic around their jelly bean. My point? (A) Jelly beans should be protected and (B) since when did the word “rule” enter into hash vocabulary? The winners: Just a Little Prick and Cock Rider, who showed us all what can be accomplished with delicate hands and a proper cupping technique.

It was balls and boob fest on the way to the On In featuring a little orange soccer ball and an even smaller jewel titled “Tits and Clits” (thanks Just Julie). Hounds were happy. Go figure – beer, balls and boobs.  Hmmm.

Back at the circle, Ass-Ma paid dearly for being born on 3/21/1975 AND accusing hashers of drinking too much beer. BOT, our official Hash Spanker, made sure Ass-Ma would never forget his special day with the help of some red and orange Paz ® coloring. Other tales and offenses:

Hash shit went to AssMa, barely beating out Piss Boy for his Hash Shit-worthy crash.

Finally, mugs up to BnH for the following:

Easter pizza

Bourbon soaked chicken (especially that)

Crackers and cheese

Shrimp and pasta salad

TONS OF BEER

TONS OF BITCH N’ HOE ATTITUDE!!!!

That’s it. If I missed anything or made any spelling errors, go to the fridge, grab a beer, take a few gulps and get over it. On, On…SF